Thursday, November 29, 2007
Do you ever feel like...
You are a complete failure as a parent?

I feel like such a jerk at the moment.

I am really, really tired; a combination of my kids literally waking up nearly every hour from midnight to 6am every night in the past few weeks (I seriously can't remember the last time I went to sleep and then woke up in the morning), and if one of them hasn't woken up that hour, I'm woken up by Sabriel either kicking the heck out of me, contractions, or major leg cramps.

I'm running on low.

I'm tired of hearing "mommy, mommy, mommy" and feeling like I"m being ordered around all the time.

I'm tired of picking up crap that has been pulled out all over the house. How many freaking times do I have to say, "No!"

I'm tired of none of my clothes (maternity included) fitting normal.

I'm tired of my kids not following directions.

I'm tired of being stuck in the house with them, especially since we haven't really been able to go do fun stuff because of being sick, or a broken arm, or pink eye...

And what do I do? I take it out on my sweet child who is scared of having her hair washed in the sink.

I yelled and I screamed and I felt so ashamed when my husband took over, because I was losing it.

:(

I hate being trapped in this sinful body, I hate letting my brokeness control me.

So now, now that I've apologized to my two year old for yelling at her and freaking out on her because I am burnt out, I'm going to snuggle with my kids and watch their "dragon movie" and feel horrible and pray that tomorrow is a day full of grace. I know it will be shown to me; I just pray that I can show grace too.
21 Comments:
Blogger Adrienne said...
Awwww, sweetie!!! Hang in there, we all have days like that! God knows I have. For example...you yell at the child who is six because he (yes HE LOL) kept confusing the colors red, green and blue, then you find out he maybe color blind.....umm yeah. So hang in there! If I can do anything......you know my number. Lub you girl!

Blogger Morgan said...
We all really do have days like that! I have yelled at Ari before which totally scares him and makes him cry harder only to realize that I'm the one with the problem, not my sweet eleven month old baby. Tomorrow is another day, one day closer to Sabriel being out instead of in and you being able to get a "normal" nights sleep. Hang in there, let me know if there's anything I can do (even though I live in another state). ((big higs))

Blogger Lisa said...
Well, I can certainly tell you, and you already know, you are SO not the only one that's ever done any of those things or felt any of those things!!! I wish I could take your place for the day and let you escape somewhere where it's quiet - there's no kicking from the inside - or outside for that matter, everything in it's place too - You deserve that. I've always said I don't know how mom that stay home survive - I barely did!!! You are such a wonderful woman and mom though - we all have a bad day!! You'll have more great ones to make up for it - no worries!! Love ya - and as Cole would say "BIG HUGS"

Blogger -C said...
Oh, my sweet friend! YES ... a big YES! I get to be reminded of my awfulness when S wakes in the middle of the night having nightmares. And, yes, it's happened enough that I've made the coorelation. It sounds like it's time for an overnighter free of kids if that's possible. Just one night will change your perspective, I promise, AND give you the energy you need to get to Sabriel's birth. One day at a time, friend ... your hands are full, you're a great mommy, and you'll only get better! :) ((hugs))

Blogger Amy said...
Bless your heart! Thank goodness for grace and a new day! Praying for a good night of rest for you!
It is crazy how satan uses the times we mess up to make us feel like failures, when you know there are far more times you are doing exactly what God has called you to do. I have spent many nights praying over the mess ups from the day, asking God to make something good come from my mess. :)

Blogger Marsha said...
What a great Mommy you are! Yes, you messed up, but you went to your little one and confessed your sin. What a Godly example you are setting. Children will see us mess up all the time because we are sinful humans. But it's the grace of God that enables you to seek forgiveness from a 2 year old.
I know it sounds trite, I certainly don't mean it that way, but as "the ol' Grandma" around here I can tell you that this too shall pass. These days will disappear like a vapor and the children will be grown and gone.
Oh, and just to let you know, all 3 of my kiddos are grown, but I STILL don't get a full nights sleep. Between getting up to go to the bathroom, nudging a snorer in the room, heat flashes and insomina, I don't know when the last time was that I slept through the night! Oh the joys of being a woman!

Blogger Nicole said...
Hang in their girly! We all have those moments. {{HUGS}}

Blogger Katie said...
so sorry you are rundown, V. I am a yeller too and I know what you mean. Sometimes being a mom and a housekeeper and a wife and all around person in charge of other people can be so overwhelming. I know what you mean. But, remember that these hard times will pass. You are a good mom and wife and friend and don't let this get you down!!!!
I'll be thinking about you!
HUgs and Love,
K

Blogger Katie said...
Put me in the been there/done that column. Parenting is frustrating and I have let my poor little guy have it a couple of times and then felt so bad afterwards. I can't imagine having 2 causing trouble (as Cam is too young to do anything superbad). I haven't slept through the night since November 2006, so I feel for you there too, as my NINE MONTH OLD (for pete's sake) still doesn't sleep thru the nite. Sleep deprivation will get you every time. Hope you can schedule a nap soon.

Blogger Christina said...
Virginia, you could have just described a day in my life right now!! Just know your not alone and you are not a failure!! Children are very forgiving. I am just completely honest with my kiddos, I tell them I'm tired and I should not have behaved that way. I don't think that it is all bad to see that you aren't perfect all the time as long as you give them a good example of how someone should behave when they have lost it. Sounds like you already have done that!! Hugs and hang in there girly!!

Blogger cropaddict.com said...
V - we all have days like that. But what keeps us from being that news story is that you have His Grace. And that you know you need a break.

When my oldest was two and I was pregnant with my youngest, I don't think there was a day/night that went by that I didn't have to profusely apologize to him. He's 9 now and a pretty good kid - I couldn't have done that much damage to him. And neither have you to Em or Att. :)

I pray that the kids be a little calmer and that you have some time to yourself. :)

Blogger Kim said...
Did I tell you about the day that I threw a hairbrush at the wall because I was so mad at the kids? I was screaming "I hate Sunday Mornings!" at the top of my lungs and trying to get the boys ready for church. Being human is GREAT!

Blogger Heather said...
Just wanting to say you are so not alone in your feelings and we all go through moments like this! I had a rough week this week and happy to say it is over and a new week is coming! The great thing about it all is we aren't in this alone and God so understands our heartcry and our heart desires and hears every sigh that escapes our very tired lips! Praying for you!

Blogger MsGrace said...
Oh I can totally relate!!
I hope you found some grace I am looking for it myself.

hugs,
Laura

Blogger CK Green said...
I just love all your creative stuff! I've seen it all over crop addict. And now I'm checking out your blog.

Give yourself some slack and let God's grace pour out over you. I have felt the same way more times than I'm willing to admit. And I've forgiven myself too. All we can do is teach our kids that we aren't perfect and show them who is. Then apologize and ask for forgiveness when we mess up. What a wonderful example you are setting when you do that! Keep your head up!

Blogger CK Green said...
I just love all your creative stuff! I've seen it all over crop addict. And now I'm checking out your blog.

Give yourself some slack and let God's grace pour out over you. I have felt the same way more times than I'm willing to admit. And I've forgiven myself too. All we can do is teach our kids that we aren't perfect and show them who is. Then apologize and ask for forgiveness when we mess up. What a wonderful example you are setting when you do that! Keep your head up!

Blogger CK Green said...
I just love all your creative stuff! I've seen it all over crop addict. And now I'm checking out your blog.

Give yourself some slack and let God's grace pour out over you. I have felt the same way more times than I'm willing to admit. And I've forgiven myself too. All we can do is teach our kids that we aren't perfect and show them who is. Then apologize and ask for forgiveness when we mess up. What a wonderful example you are setting when you do that! Keep your head up!

Blogger CK Green said...
I just love all your creative stuff! I've seen it all over crop addict. And now I'm checking out your blog.

Give yourself some slack and let God's grace pour out over you. I have felt the same way more times than I'm willing to admit. And I've forgiven myself too. All we can do is teach our kids that we aren't perfect and show them who is. Then apologize and ask for forgiveness when we mess up. What a wonderful example you are setting when you do that! Keep your head up!

Anonymous jazzykaela said...
I just love all your creative stuff! I've seen it all over crop addict. And now I'm checking out your blog.

Give yourself some slack and let God's grace pour out over you. I have felt the same way more times than I'm willing to admit. And I've forgiven myself too. All we can do is teach our kids that we aren't perfect and show them who is. Then apologize and ask for forgiveness when we mess up. What a wonderful example you are setting when you do that! Keep your head up!

Blogger Monique said...
Ahhh, girl, you are not alone. I have had to apologize to the girls SEVERAL times over the last couple of weeks, and have felt like a HORRIBLE mother...(sigh), I really do admire you...I meant that when I said that in my email the other day. Love you tons. ;)

Blogger 3QTGUYS said...
Well, let me chime in here, too!

I was watching Candace Cameron the other day on the view, and something she said just rand so loudly in my heart.

She said "I purposed to be a stay at home mom".

Wow! As my boys are just getting older, I realize that time is so sweet. Those moments, those kisses, and all of that.

I looked at your pic of your big belly the other day, and literally thought "oh, those moments"

I have yelling days, losing it days, breaking point days, too!

They get easier as they get older, but these precious moments, even the moments when you can snuggle will be gone soon.

You know what? They love you right now. You are their hero! Regardless. They love you!

That's the best!

Chin up, V. God is good, He will show you joy just at the moment you need it! He always does for me.

Links to this post:
Create a Link