my mind is clear of the fog, and i am back into reality. how is it that God created us to be so complex? it seems to me like you can put in so many different factors and variables, and end up with different results every time.
the current equation was all sorts of things... teaching me about pride and control and trust.
as in, my pride makes me want to control everything in my life so that i appear perfect, but i'm not fooling anyone, let alone God.
as in, that little thing called *trust* where i have to give up all of those things that i want to control, and trust God to handle them.
(what- you're saying that the Creator of the universe and a gentle and loving Savior can actually be trusted to love and care for the things I
care deeply about? pshaw.)
anyways... it's been a long road the last few weeks, and i know myself well enough at this point to know it's going to be a journey 'til the end of my days, but i feel like i am learning. and maybe, just maybe, it's actually starting to stick.
it helps to have a dash of humility foisted upon you as well.
so i want to dedicate this post to my husband, who has stuck by me for 6 and 3/4 years thus far, and sees the ugly in me daily. even when i think i'm covering it up pretty well, the "make-up" just doesn't work for him. he always has been more into the "natural girl" look anyways.
thank you for loving me. thank you for being my friend. thank you for caring about us.
here's to many more years of
ups and downs and
learning to peel back my facade and
laughing at silly rituals and
discussing books and
eating your culinary creations and
looking together with love at little people in our family and
waking up together and
leaning on Jesus and
figuring out what relationships consist of.
(and not so much of the me complaining and nagging about things. )
Labels: faith, marriage