Motherhood came as shock to me.

After trying unsuccessfully for a couple of years to conceive, I was elated when I found out I was pregnant with Em. When we discovered that we were having a little girl, my excitement- and number of daydreams- rose. I fantasized about pigtails and giggles and little pink clothes. We couldn't wait to meet this tiny little girl.

I had loads of problems breastfeeding (something I had always been determined to do). Unbeknownst to me, Emerson had a painful case of acid reflux that made eating and laying down really uncomfortable for her, which equalled a screaming baby all the time. To top it all off, I ended up getting a severe infection. This left both Em and I in a soggy, crying mess most days.

My idealized fantasies of strolling around the mall as a cute new mom with her adorble pink, be-ribboned doll child went right out the window.

Things slowly got better over time. My infection healed, Em was prescribed medication for her acid reflux, and I began to get showers every day. (LOL)

Four months into being a mommy, I found out I was going to be one again.

I learned how to juggle morning sickness and early morning bottles; my naps and her naps; OB check-ups and play dates; a little one on my lap, sharing space with the new one in my ever-expanding tummy.

Atticus, you weren't "planned" by your daddy & I... but God knew we were ready for you. I was scared I wouldn't be able to give you and your sister the best mothering, but somehow we make it through every day with lots of hugs, kisses, and snuggles.

You nap easily, coo all the time, give huge "face-breaking" grins, and have no problems breastfeeding. You are generally one easy going little boy.

And one year after finding out I was pregnant with you, I couldn't imagine our home without you in it.