Thursday, July 28, 2005
a harrowing escape


why do i ever think it's a good idea to go out in the late afternoon with em? shouldn't i have learned by now that that's her fussy time?

you'd think.

but no.

emerson is all smiles and grins at home, looking up at me enticelingly with her big blue eyes.

i think, "what the heck? i'll just run up for a "quick trip" to sam's, get the membership card thing going, pick up some diapers, scope the place out."

emerson thinks, "screw you, mommy." (diabolical laughter)

i get there, a mere 1/2 mile (if that) up the road, unload the monstrous car seat into a cart, and proceed my way into the store.

do the whole membership card thing (i look like crap in the picture and it's taken from such a distance back, i'm just a gray blob) and then think, "oooh yeah, i've got those 4 rolls of film in my purse i've been waiting to develop! i'll drop them off while i'm here!" because one of the main reasons i wanted a sam's membership was because of the cheapola film developing prices.

enter: the guy in the top hat and pointy mustache who ties the lady to the train tracks, aka emerson, my darling daughter

"oh, NOW's a good time to get cranky!" says the blue eyed beauty with an oh so innocent look on her face.

"ack! ack!" i panic, quickly trying to fill out the other three film developing envelopes.

why do they have to ask all that freaking information anyways?! do they REALLY need to know my maiden name, the place of my birth, names i'd like to name future children, and my favorite color of nail polish? (french manicure or "powerhouse" by rimmel, if anyone wants to know)

the nice lady at the photo place finally sees my distress and comes to help me. "oh honey, we just need your name and your film. "

thank God! i hurry and rush to the back to pick up diapers, of course of which they don't have emerson's size in. i go ahead and grab the next size up (surely this chub can fit into the 16 lbs. ones, right?), quickly glance through the formula (nope, none of the lactose free kind. sheesh.), and grab the humongous box of wipes (700 and something. surely this will last through august, right?).

meanwhile, my nemesis is getting quite cranked up.

on the way out the door, nice little old "free sample" lady says, "energy bar, sweetie?"

why? do i look like i need one?

;)
3 Comments:
Blogger Sarah said...
Oh! Funny and Horrifying! I hate those moments. At least you could enjoy the telling of the tale!

Blogger Virginia said...
I know! Some days I'm like... why do I even bother leaving the house? LOL

Anonymous mom said...
Hey Virge..All of your personality sure comes out in your blog! You're a multi-dimensional person, you are (yoda accent intended here)
We are coming up Thursday to do a puppet show at a day care in Pell City.
I guess that's my creative side. Volunteering for silly kid stuff!
I have got to rest my voice.'
I'm hoarse from the conference.
Cool sewing machine.
Mal and I switched rooms.
I died Donovan's hair reddish brown and cut it.
night night em. nanna "wilkerson"

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